Mug

Frustration at my inability to step forward dawned on me in a heavy cloak of anger.

I screamed.

Then I grabbed his mug as if it were the thing that destroyed me and slammed it against my marble countertop.

To my surprise, it shattered into pieces and flew out everywhere.

My hand was bleeding incessessantly, but I did not feel a thing.

The noise blew him towards me, "My grandmother bought me that mug!"

Grandmother means a lot to him and I...

I couldn't allow myself to feel... I muttered, "You should have cleaned it up then! Its always out here!"

I started cleaning the the mess up as he got the dogs ready and fled.

bleeding became a little annoying and so i washed away the broken ceramic pieces from under the cuts and let the blood clot before moving again.

It's been 1 year and 1 day...
Nothing has changed and I havent moved forward.

4 years of painful past and the possible 70 or so more years my inability will bring upon me rushed over in anxious haste.

What is there left to do?