Sometimes...

Sometimes I wish. Wish for the past, the present, and the future...to be changed-somehow.

I wish that I wasn't the antagonist. I wish I wasn't the one to break it. I wish somebody else had taken the role. I saw it first. I always see it first. I saw the need. I didn't have to fulfill it but I did. I always have to be it.

Nobody cheers for a show that just drags on.

The heart ached. It rightfully did. I couldn't, though, because I did it. But no-one knows. It is always like that. It's in its nature--to be double-edged. I think otherwise men would take it too lightly.

I had approached it too flamboyantly. It's not my fault, it came to me first--too easily. I wasn't prepared. I wasn't at all. I wasn't going to open the door too wide anyway--just a peak, that's what I wanted.

Then it came at me through the peep-hole, took my heart and left me there.

I couldn't help it nor myself. The door flung open ever so effortlessly. The audience might even have believed it was me who gave it the push. It was the door itself that is structured that way--to open. No one had put the locks in place.

Now. There you see it. Me in my mess. Sitting there... just sitting there. It's not pretty, is it? I don't have the door to hide behind anymore. All bare and alone at last. The wind feels particularly icy tonight...That's the end.